Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my phone needs a breathalizer
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
