i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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