You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
