we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize