butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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