You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
