just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's shark week go big or go home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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