Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
