is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
