Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
