How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
