I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
