It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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