Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
