Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
