How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
