So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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