I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
