dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
