Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
