just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
