Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
