What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
