In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
