Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
