we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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