you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
