At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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