She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
