I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
