My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
