alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
