I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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