I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
