You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
