My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
