Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So vagazzling was a success
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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