the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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