I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if only i could text you this smell
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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