There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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