my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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