There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His hands were made for my vagina.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize