Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
