Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
