She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
