I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
