kristin has been a bad kristin
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
