I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
