Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i came on her dog
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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