Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
