Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
