i barfeds in our rink
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
